Adulting: Is It Really That Hard?

Where to Look If You Feel Stuck, Drained, or Isolated

Does the word fulfillment seem like a great idea, but you don’t know what action steps to take to lead a more fulfilled life? Do you find yourself wanting to do ALL the things but can't figure out where people get the time and energy?

I work with self-employed top performers who've seemingly nailed it all – the degree, the job, the business, the house, the car, the spouse, the kids, the picket fence – and yet something still feels off. When we dig into where they are lacking fulfillment, it's not immediately clear because the word fulfillment is too vague.

After having this conversation with many different clients, I’ve found digging deeper uncovers one of four critical areas that is out of whack.

Time Freedom: Feeling Trapped

Some feel like they're the last person on earth who gets say in how they spend their time. They're constantly running around taking care of everyone else, with zero space for personal desires. Their dream? A life of leisure where they decide what work or play they want to do, and when they want to do it.

Peace of Mind: Constant Chaos

For others, life is just one big worry festival. They're anxious about cash flow – will they make enough to pay employees, vendors, and bills? There's this never-ending, ever-growing to-do list that seems impossible to conquer. They're terrified of that potential phone call from an upset customer that might make everything come crashing down. They're perpetual firefighters, constantly putting out flames before they become infernos.

Flow State: Feeling Drained

Many have lost touch with what genuinely energizes them. Activities that used to spark joy – playing music, laughing with friends, exploring the world, arts and crafts, hiking, boating, playing with kids – have been replaced by the relentless grind. They're craving that magical moment of getting lost in a flow state, working on something that truly matters to them.

Deep Connections: Isolation

Relationships feel shallow or completely absent. They're working so hard that distance has grown between them and their loved ones. Their spouse probably hates their job even more than they do, because even when they are around, their mind is at the job. They're missing ball games, skipping recitals, drowning in guilt. They're desperate for intellectual conversations that aren't with dependents or subordinates.

The Breakthrough: Defining Your Own Rules

Early adulthood requires following external guidelines and testing what works. As we mature, we keep what serves us and discard what drains us. Playing the long game of fulfillment means refusing to sacrifice our values for a paycheck. Burnout isn't about hard work – it's about abandoning our own personal values and what truly matters to us.

The key is listening to your inner authority – the highest version of yourself. No one knows how to live your life better than you do.

Feeling stuck? Check these four areas:

• Control of your time

• Peace of mind

• Energizing work or play

• Deep, meaningful relationships

One of these will inevitably be off-kilter. These guidelines are your compass. Your answers are within you – guidance just helps you find them faster.

Here's the game-changer: We stop following everyone else's playbook. We start crafting rules that serve we as individuals best, creating personalized metrics for success.

I don't provide a one-size-fits-all method. I help people discover their unique approach.